Ratted out the wrong nonexistent agency? If nameless, faceless goons are breathing down your neck, it may be time to make a quick getaway to a cozy corner that’s a little out of the way.

And have we got the hideouts for you. With these secluded spaces, you’ll have plenty of time* to ponder the difference between righteous whistleblowing and good ol’ fashioned attention-mongering.

Enjoy the silence. While you can.

  1. The Galápagos Islands

    Tucked into a corner of Galápagos National Park, Ecuador, this little villa claims to be “ideal for families, friends, and couples who wish to have a bit more space to themselves.” Just be sure to encrypt your connection to the free wifi to avoid shadowy operatives tracking you down. (Editorial note from engineering department: the previous sentence makes no sense.)

  2. The Maldives

    See that little dude all by himself? That little dude could be you. Set apart from the pricey Maldivian resorts, the Fenfushi Maldives Inn takes seclusion to a whole new plane. Although, come to think of it, the fact that they note “Our…agents will be waiting for you in each airport” is a bit worrisome. Hm.

  3. Greenland

    How secret is this place? So secret that the freaking map isn’t even close to where the listing actually is. Now THAT’S privacy. “Relax in Nuuk,” for sure. (Did we mention that it’s not even in Nuuk, according to the description?)

  4. Micronesia

    Want to escape the tyranny of Uncle Sam, but can’t be bothered changing your currency? You’re in luck. This little slice of Pacific paradise is your dream hideout. Micronesia…with a name like that, surely your new home is too small to get noticed. Right?

  5. Somewhere in Mongolia

    You’ve got itchy feet. We don’t blame you. Try this on for size: a nomadic yurt near the Russia–Mongolia border. With no fixed address, you’ll be nearly untrackable. Nearly.

  6. The Middle of the Ocean

    Kicking around off the coast of Belize is this completely deserted Caribbean island. How deserted? Well, amenities include “several large trees.” Sun, fun, and utter disengagement from the human race. What more could an overly chatty chap want?

Looking to make a getaway of your own? Where would you go to escape the daily humdrones humdrum?

*Time subject to tracking capabilities of nameless, faceless goons. Good luck with that.